Post by Admin on Nov 1, 2007 20:32:45 GMT -5
Billy: Back under the chair of wonder!
Billy: -comes back from the chair of wonder holding a purple book-
Billy: Gather 'round kiddies! It’s . . . -happy-time music starts playing- STORY TIME!!!!
George: . . .
Billy: -looks at the cover-
George: Dear God . . .
Billy: -ahem-
Billy: Today we're gonna read "My Little Unicorn."
Random Kid: -Cheers-
Billy: Last night, a unicorn came to my window. I climbed onto his back, and we flew away. Over my house, up through the clouds, and into the stars. In the morning, I was back in bed. The unicorn was gone. Maybe it had all been a dream. But there on my pillow was a tiny golden unicorn!
Random kids: -start crying-
Billy: No! It’s ok!
Random Kid- Dinosaur!
Billy: No!
Billy: Unicorn!
Billy: Not dinosaur!
Random kid: -starts crying-
George: -Fawps the kids-
George: -holds up scary pictures-
Billy: DAMMIT ALL TO BLOODY HELL!!! -throws book on the floor-
Billy: Don't you kids know any good stories?!?!
Billy: -trips over book and head falls off-
-kids start laughing-
George: -slides into story time chair- Ok kids I tell the story now . . .
George: -takes out bright pink book-
George: There once was a school who got a new student. Her name was Cindy McNoodlebutt. She joins the cheerleading team and in a few weeks became a prep. Years pass of her prep-ness until one day she uses all the make-up in the world trying to make herself pretty.
Random Kid: -shouts- Mommy make-up!
George: The humans soon died from the toxin make-up and that is how preps will kill us all. . .
George: -he closed the book and threw it at one of the random kids- Now never become a prep or I will hunt you down and kill you. -smiles and sits down on the floor-
Random Kid: -dies of bleeding-
George: -cheers-
-fox walks in-
Fox : bark bark bar-bark bark bark-bark-bark-bark bark bark!
Audience: Wtf. . .
George: -pets fox-
Fox: -gets pissed off and sets the house on fire-
George: -runs away-
-the rain goddess appears, kills the fox, and saves the little peoples-
Audience: . . .
Audience: -stares-
Random people from the audience: -ponders if they are on something and doesn't know it.-
-a finger of God appears from the sky- Hey kids it's not nice to smoke! -disappears-
Jeff: -looks around-
Jeff: -whispers to self- They're gone
Jeff: -looks around again-
Jeff: Heh heh heh. . .
Jeff: -sneaks over to the chair of wonders-
Jeff: Now I'll be master of the munchkins!
-the chair eats him-
-a pair of walking scissors walks in-
Audience: . . .
-starts cutting the fingers off the little random kids that survived-
George: -watches with popcorn-
George: -throws rock at the scissors- Rock beat scissors! Ha!
-scissors die-
Random Kids: Boo!
George: -throws scissors at kids- Shut up!
George: Least I can still eat finger food!
Hannah: - starts laughing-
Hannah: Yeah suckers!
George: . . .
Hannah: -picks up a bowl of pudding and throws it at the little
random Mine! kid- That'll teach YOU what's mine!
Hannah: -throws book bag at another random kid-
Hannah : Mwahahaha!
-kid blows up-
George: . . .?!
Hannah: -gets bored and starts eating grass-
George: -stares-
-bird flies by and poops in George's eye-
George: -dies-
Announcer: [Please insert welcome here]
Announcer 2: [Please insert zeeky boogie doog here]
Announcer: -does so-
-BOOM!-
Hannah : Haha!
Hannah : Suckers!
Hannah : Fear the dreaded sharpie! -throws sharpie-
Hannah : And the dreaded battery! -throws battery-
Hannah : And. . .the Flarp -throws Flarp-
Hannah : And. . .and. . .my cup -throws cup, glass shattering sound
lasts for about 5 seconds-
Hannah : -stands up laughing- Oh-h-h-h-ho shit! Hahahahahaa!
Hannah : It wasn-
-the camera shuts off-
A story teller: Let me introduce you to . . . Hyperia!
Story Teller: -looks around with the shit-eatin grin-
-Hyperia theme song begins-
Random Kids: Yay!
-Hyperia flies from the sky and lands in front of the random kids-
Random Kid I don't like you: -stands up-
Random Kid I don't like you: I don't like you!
Hyperia: Well that's ok little kid, because the stalkers are coming from under the chair!
Random Kid but why?!?!: BUT WHY?!?!
Hyperia: Well, because we don't like you anymore!
Random Kid yeah!!!!: Yeah!!!!
-stalkers start coming out of the Chair of Wonders-
Hyperia: Uh oh, super hero’s gotta leave random kids behind sometimes!
-random kids start getting eaten by the stalkers-
later that day . . .
A news reporter: This just in! A group of random kids was devoured by 10 stalkers. They seem to have crawled out from under the Chair of Wonders. -turns head to the right, sees a man sitting there- What do you have to say, Bob?
Bob: I was a witness to the whole thing
A news reporter: Really?! Can you tell us what happened?!?!
Bob: Sure . . . I was eating my pizza and. . . .
(five hours later)
-News reporter, camera man, and Bob are all lying on the ground dead-
Random kid HAHA!!!: -walks up and points at them- HAHA!!!
-a small shrimpish girl looks up at the sky at a dark cloud-
-it grows bigger and moved really fast-
Girl: what the f***. . .
Dil: -watches the girl, eating popcorn at the same time, looking at the cloud-
she soon realizes it was a swarm of evil flying monkeys from space and screams
(5 min. later . . .)
Dil: -makes random kids leave-
-a bloody corpse is found on ground by a dog-
-dog picks up her dislocated arm and walks away with it in its mouth-
-monkeys then come to a city-
Dil: -drops popcorn from mouth-
Monkeys: -in monkey language FOOOOOOODDDDD, AND FUN! FOOD AND FUN!!!! -monkeys are chanting it over and over
Random Kid: -starts dancing-
Dil: -throws a rock at them-
Random Kid: -dies-
-monkeys kill all the people and eat them, then go to a move
theater and watch Spongebob-Bob-
Random Kids: -start laughing, some of them blow up-
then . . .
THEN . . . - suspenseful music plays-
Ziggyboogiduke!!!
-BOOM!-
Random kid everyone hates yet never dies: It's pronounced 'zeeky boogie doog'
-BOOM!-
Random kid everyone hates yet never dies: -blows up then regenerates-
Hannah: Gosh! You will never die! Ever!
Random kid everybody hates yet never dies: Not entirely true. I'm afraid of the letter 'x'
Hannah: -smiles the evil grin-
moments later . . .
Hannah: -walks out of the room, smacking her hands together-
Random kids: What did you do?!?!
Hannah: You'll see -walks away-
Random Kids: -look through the door and the random kid that everybody hates yet never dies is tied on a big x cross with a little x-shaped pool beneath him with sharks (cardboard x's) floating around-
Random kid that everyone hates yet never dies: -muffled- Help me!
Random Kids: -shake their heads, smile, turn around, slams the door, causing the random kid that everybody hates yet never dies to fall into the x-shaped pool and die of fright-
Random stick figure dude: -shrugs and walks out toward a hill-
Random stick figure dude: -falls- AAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!
-techno music plays-
Random stick figure dude: AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!
Random stick figure dude: AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!
Random stick figure dude: AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!
Random stick figure dude: -stops falling and starts sliding, jumping over rocks-
Random stick figure dude: -starts falling again-
Random stick figure dude: AAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!
Random stick figure dude: AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!
-lands on the random H Bomb-
-BOOM!-
-cheerleaders pop out of the bomb and start a gay little cheer-
Krista: -comes out and drops mouth- I'm gonna need a bigger 'un. . .
Krista: -runs home and comes back with a huge shotgun about 30 feet long-
Krista: Mwahahaha!
Krista: -starts shooting all the cheerleaders, causing them to explode into little pink puff clouds-
Krista: -shoots the last one-
Krista: Mwahahaha! Cheerleaders are now extinct!
Random Dragon: MAWHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!
Random Dragon: -flies down, grabs Krista's gun, flies away-
Krista: NNNNNOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!
Random Dragon: -looks into the gun- What's this do? -bang-
Dragon: Ow. . .
-evil mutated mountain dew can is walking down the city street-
Random kid always being clumsy: -steps on it and it dies-
Random kid eewww!!!: -walks over to the squished soda can and points at it to old people walking by- EEWWW!!!
(later in Hannah's neighborhood, three retarded little midget kids are riding in their battery powered cars, pulling each other behind them)
Hayden: This is fun!
Kevin: Yeah!
Michael: Let's go make some money!
Hayden and Kevin: How?
Michael: Like this.
Joe: Sure, $5 an hour
Kids: OKAY!
-kids ride to Hayden's house and come back with three rakes tied to
each car-
Hayden: I never thought that raking leaves could be so easy!
-they soon finish but because they finished in less than 50 minutes, they got no money-
Kevin: Well THAT was a rip-off.
Hayden: Yep.
-they all sit there at the edge of the rip-off-artist's driveway-
Hayden: Now what?
Michael: Now we play, WRECK THE CARS!
Kevin and Hayden: YEAH!
- two minutes later-
Joe: What is wrong with you?!?! You tryin to die young?!?!
-Hayden had the car run straight into the curb and flipped over
Michael's car and landed on Kevin's car. It surprised Michael and caused him to run into Joe's mailbox-
Random kid: Santa!
-later that day. . .-
Michael: Hey, look! Brian’s here!
Hayden: -looks around- Where?
Kevin: There!
-Brian walks up to them-
Brian: Hey guys!
Michael: Come on! We built a new skate ramp!
-In Michael’s backyard-
Michael: Hey, Brian, watch this! -pushes Hayden down the skate ramp and Hayden falls flat on his face-
Hayden: Ow! God that was. . .painful!
Brian: Haha! My turn! -pushes Kevin and he falls next to Hayden-
Kevin: Ow!
-Michael sits on a skateboard and rolls down the ramp and runs over Hayden and Kevin-
Hayden and Kevin: Ow!
-Kevin explodes and pizza rains from the sky-
-they run away-
Brain: -pulls out a paint ball gun- Hey, Michael! Go out by Kevin’s house!
Michael: Ok! -runs out to Kevin’s house and waits-
Brian: -shoots gun and it misses him shoots gun again and it hits him in the back-
Michael: -blows up and a big blue puff of smoke appears-
Brian: Oh shoot! -runs away-
Hayden: -throws a pinecone at Brian’s head and his head explodes-
Hayden: Haha! -runs away-
Random kid: -trips Hayden and his head falls off
Random kid Haha: Haha!
*BOOM*
********NOTE********
All the following stunts are for amateurs only. Every stunt about to be witnessed is by random events in which we had nothing to do with them. Please, all those that are random kids and smart people, leave the auditorium.
A pencil sharpener walks in and stands over the dead pair of random scissors. The scissors come to life and try to kill the random pencil sharpener by cutting it in half but the sharpener revealed it’s secret pencil in it and jams it in the scissor’s handle. The scissors die and then. . .then. . .THEN. . .
-phone starts ringing-
Random kid hi: -picks it up- Hi!
Phone: Zeeky boogy doog!
Random kid hi: Hi! Hi! H. . .
-BOOM-
-Stormie and Hannah walk down the street -
Stormie: -walks up to Hannah and waves- Hiiiiiiiiiiiii!
Hannah: Byeeeeeeeee!
Stormie- Pulls out a paint ball gun-
Hannah: Uh oh. -starts running-
Stormie: -shoots Hannah in the back-
Hannah: -trips over the squished mutated mountain dew can- Oh my go. . .
Stormie: -looks up-
-evil flying monkeys come again and pick up random kids-
-Hannah and Stormie take cover while random kid arms and limbs fly in the sky-
-BOOM-
Reporter: So. . .how's life?
Weather forecaster: 60% chance of rain tomorrow down in the WTF area. Possible thunderstorms in the eastern Damnit I'm Tired regions.
Tv: Do you know. . .the
Tv: -static-
May: Ah, Samara!
Tv: Ha. . .an. . .ou. . .?
May: -hides video-
Tv: May! Can you here me now?
May: No!
Tv: I know what you di. . .sum. . .-tv shuts off-
May: -checks calender-
May: Hey, its only been six days. . .
May: RIP OFF
Jingle: -comes to the window- Hey yo, you know Rudolph?
May: -stares blankly- Yeah, turn left at the next corner and go down 2 blocks. He's in the house with a bunch of reindeer decorations.
Jingle: Damnit, he's my f***** cousin, hey yo, I have a f******* red nose too why'd Santa f****** pick him huh huh?! it's cause I'm a black reindeer isn't it?!
May: Probably.
May: I would too.
Jingle: I am so mad!! -poof-
May: . . .
May: That doesn't fix my TV, though.
-tv blinks on-
-a big black shadow comes out with heavy breathing- Luke. . .I am your father. . .
-applause-
May: -kiddy Scream- Daddy, I knew you'd come back for me. And I knew my name wasn't May. It's good ol' Luke. Now, to the dark side!
Darth Vader: Son!
May: Oh, Dad. . .Wait. . .You missed, like, 14 Christmases! Pay up!
Darth Vader: Bad Luke! Bad! -pulls out spray bottle- Don't point at the dark cape dad
May: -backs away- Child Abuse!
-Samara pulls at cape and Darth flies into the tv screen-
May: -stares- I want my money!
-tv screen spits out a bag-
May: -pokes bag with Spork of Doom-
-bag explodes and rains nails and screws of terror-
May: . . .
May: -dies-
Random Voice: Welcome to the Magical Corn Field of Bobbobobobobobob
Hannah: uhh. . .
Hannah: Yay?
-Corn hits Hannah-
Hannah: What the eff man? All I was looking for was the bathroom. . .and you come up and hit a blonde in the head that's racist there. . . I resent that
Hannah: Hey corn! -makes popcorn-
Hannah: Wait. . .you're distracting me!
-Corn dies while somehow screaming-
Hannah: Oh crap this is some Jerry Springer mess now. . .
Random Voice: It's magical!
Hannah: Wtf?!
Hannah: Are you my conscience?
Random Voice: Yup.
Hannah: . . .
Hannah: Am I gonna get a donut out of this or not? Cause I don't
have time for this. . .
Random Voice 2: Hannah, go towards the corn!
Hannah: !
Hannah: Is there a donut?
Random Voice 2: There is a load of donuts and Vash toys there. I swear!
Random Voice: Holy Shit! Who are you?!
Hannah: Hot dang! -runs as fast as possible to corn field-
Hannah: -suddenly at graveyard-
Hannah: -with corn-
Hannah: Umh. . .
Hannah: What does this mean?
-random hand pops out of ground-
Random Voice 2: Nothing. . .
Hannah: EEP!
Hannah: Hoho cool. -pokes hand with a stick-
Hannah: Haha it's squishy!
-2nd hand pops up-
Hannah: Uhh. . .
Hannah: Hey look another hand. . .
Hannah: Are we gonna play patty cake?
Hannah: Or should I just go get another stick?
-head pops up-
May: Hannah, I'm not fully dead!
Hannah: But. . .why?
Hannah: Hey! Do you have my donuts?
May: No, but I have a worm.
Hannah: . . .
Hannah: Where's my Vash?!?!
Hannah: You lied! I know where you live conscience!
May: I think he thought I was dead or something, but what would have given him that idea? I dunno. Where the hell is my corn?
Hannah: Who is he?
May: Umm. . . Corn McBobbletaco
Hannah: Hahaha I bet his mom named him that just to see if she could get away with it.
May: Or she liked corn.
Random Voice 2: Yeah, corn.
Hannah: Ok. . .
Hannah: Hey buddy you lied to me.
Random Voice: What the hell are you still doing here?
-Corn mascot attacks the Random Voices-
May: -Holds up #1 finger- Go Corn!
Hannah: Where the hell did you come from?!
Corn Mascot: Well, I'm Corn McBobbletaco's 2nd cousin twice removes divided by 42.
Hannah: Wait, what? Divide the 6 carry the 4. . .so you've been. . .-sigh- pass. . .
Corn Mascot: That's right! I'm your sister!
Hannah: I don't like you ,you smile too much!! Run away! -runs and trips on ant- Damnit ant, I told you, not now!
May: -stares; still stuck in ground-
Hannah: Oh crap, my bad.
Hannah: Uhm. . .heh heh. . .
Hannah: How do I do this exactly?
May: -wiggles some- This is worse than being forced to watch CSI: Miami for 5 minutes! May: And it's their second season!
Hannah: Wow, that's bad.
May: -pulls Magical Eject Lever of Corn- -flies away-
Hannah: Hey. . .you left me!
May: I'm flying!
Hannah: -looks at corn mascot- You're gay! -kicks shin and runs away-
May: -slams into Walmart- -slowly slides off-
Walmart man bob: -comes out with broom- Oh boy another one bites the dust. . .
Hannah: May! WHILE YOU'RE THERE, GET ME SOME MORE STICKS TO POKE THINGS WITH!
May: Ok! -walks in-
May: Sticks, sticks, sticky, stick, sticks....
May: Wtf! $4.99!
Hannah: -waiting-
May: Screw you, Walmart! I'm going to Target!
May: -runs to dollar tree instead-
May: I'd like some sticks please. . .$5? Ok, that's a bargain.
Hannah: -looks around- -sigh- May had better have Walmart brand sticks they last longer. . .
May: -runs back to Walmart and gets smiley stickers from the old welcome guy; puts them on the sticks and takes them to Hannah-
Hannah: Bout time you got here.
Hannah: Hey. . .you're hiding something. . .
May: -pulls out corn-
May: Ok. . .
Hannah: Oooh I know what you did.
Hannah: You got a haircut you sly dog.
Hannah: Snazzy.
May: Damn, you caught me.
Hannah: Haha you can't hide anything from me.
May: I know, but I try. . .a lot.
Hannah: Well let's go find a wasp nest and poke it.
Hannah: Bwahaha they'll never suspect a thing!
May: Okay!
-stick snaps-
May: -stares-
Hannah: May. . .let's go sue Walmart.
May: I blame the corn.
May: It cursed us.
May: Grr. . .
Hannah: Stupid corn! -spits on corn and a magical beanstalk pops out-
May: -stares-
Hannah: Is that legal?
May: A bean comes from corn?
May: Wow, and we didn't have to sell our cow!
Hannah: Whoo! Let's go climb it!
Hannah: -climbs-
May: -follows, eating beans-
Hannah: -three days later- May I see the top!
Hannah: Oh my gosh!
Hannah: Go down go down!!!
Hannah: There's an angry oompa loompa at the top with corn!
May: Corn?!
May: I LOVE YOU, CORN
Hannah: May. . .the corn just exploded
May: . . .
Business Man 1: -looks down- Lost another one to Geico.
Business Man 2: Damn Gecko.
Business Man 1: It's all from the robot!
Business Man 2: Grr. . .
Business Man 1: Ahhh soo. . .
Farmer: Robot? Where is my cow?
Vash: Looks like I caught you red handed.
Shadow: . . .
Vash: You thought that you could get away huh. . .well not when I’m
around.
Shadow: . . .
Vash: Well?! Are you just gonna stand there?!
Shadow: . . .
Vash: -growls-
Shadow: . . .
Vash: Alright that does it, you’ve asked for it. -reaches toward gun-
Shadow: . . .
Vash: I warned you. . .now taste a bit of this. . .heh heh heh. . .
Shadow: . . .
Vash: -crosses fingers- LOVE AND PEACE!
People: -stares-
Shadow: -walks out and reveals Kuroneko-
Vash: Uhh. . .
Kuroneko: NYYAAA!!!! -scratches Vash’s hand-
Vash: AHH!! -runs away-
Kuroneko: Nyaa. . .
Kilala: -walks up- Rya?
Kuroneko: Nyaa. . .nyaa nya-ny-nyaa.
Kilala: Rya! Ry-rya. . .-winks-
Kuroneko: -blushes- Nyaa, nya-ny-nya. . .
People: Uhh. . .
Random Kid: WE NEED A TRANSLATOR!
-Random Pokéball-
Meowth: MEEEOOOWWTH THAT’S RIG. . hey. . .THIS ISN’T TEAM ROCKET!
People: Translate. . .NOW!
Meowth: Fine.
Kilala: Rya-ry-ry-rya-rya rya rya RYA rya rya. . .
Meowth: She said “You shouldn’t hurt people like that.”
Kuroneko: Nyaa. . .nyanya nya.
Meowth: She said “I know but he was taunting me.”
Kilala: Rya. . .rya rya ry-rya-rya. Ryaryaryaryaryarya!
Meowth: Basically she said “Don’t worry, we all do it, hahahahahahaha!”
Kuroneko: Nyanyanyanyanyanyanya!
Meowth: My work here is done! -returns to pokéball-
Mrs. Rubino: RRRROOOOOOOOAAAAAAAARRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!
Hannah: EEP! -runs and hides behind pencil-
Hannah: STAND BACK VILE TEACHER! FOR I HAVE. . .uhh. . .A CUP!
Hannah: UH! -throws cup- -SHATTER- OHH SHIT
Mrs. Rubino: ERRGGG. . .YOU MADE ME ANGRY YARGH!!!!! -rips clothes- HULK-BINO!
Class: OMG RUN AWAY!
Travis: -trips- OH GOD NO!! AHH!!! -gets eaten-
Random Classmate: NO NOT THE PUMPKIN!!!
Krista: -points and laughs-
Christin: -having a pregnant dog fit-
Hannah: COME ON CHRISTIN!
Christin: NO I'm not going anywhere until SHE gives me back my eyeliner.
Hannah: Ok then. . .
Christin: pregnant dog give me back my damn eyeliner!
Hulk-Bino: Uhhh. . .-throws chair-
Christin: AHH!!! -splat-
Krista: -runs in circles-
Hannah: . . .
Hannah: OOH OOH I KNOW I KNOW
Krista: ?
Hannah: -drinks Pepsi-
DUHNDUHNANANAAAAAAaaaAAaAAAaAAA!!!!!!!!!
Hannah/Hyperia: HYPERIA!
Krista: Uh oh.
Hannah/Hyperia: -starts talking 90 miles an hour about playing tag-
Hulk-Bino: ME NO UNDERSTAND AHHH!!! -head esplodes-
-candy rains from the sky-
Announcer: And thus Hulk-Bubino was in fact a giant rampaging pinata full of candy that ended world hunger but started a new age. . .of -BUMBUMBUM- cavities!!!! -screams-
Hyper Hannah: OOH CANDY!! YUUUMMM- -falls on ground-
Hannah: -wakes up- Oh God. . .is that. . .is that a closet?
Closet: -eerie music-
Hannah: Umm. . .
Random Kid: -starts dancing to music-
Hannah: You retard! -throws a twig-
Random Kid: -explodes into a pile of shoes-
Hannah: Oops. . .hey! -looks at shoes- Rip-off! They’re all left feet! Stupid lefty!
Jatana: You idiot! What about the closet?
Hannah: Oh yeah. . .Hold on, I’ll find a stick and we can poke it.
Jatana: NO. . .OPEN the closet.
Hannah: Are there any donuts?
Jatana: Yes.
Hannah: WHOO! -runs into door- OPEN, DAMN YOU!
Door: You have to have a key.
Hannah: OH MY GOD! IT TALK! Oh. . .WONDERLAND?!
Door: No. . .I am the evil door of the Boogeyman!
Hannah: The. . .Booger Man? What. . .
Jatana: No, Hannah. BOOGEYMAN. That retarded thing from the movie.
Hannah: I remember! -thinks of hippo lady-
Jatana: Any ways. . .where do we find the key?
Door: On the other side of me.
Jatana: So. . .how does that work?
Door: Hell if I knew, I get paid to sit here.
Hannah: Whoa! You’re being paid?!
Door: Yes,
Hannah: We’ll pay you double to open up.
Door: Uhh. . .I don’t think do. -shudder-
Hannah: Why? What are they paying you?
Door: Termites. . .
Hannah: Ooh. . .
Jatana: Now what?
Hannah: -thinks-
Jatana: -thinks-
Door: -sits-
Hannah: -pokes the door with a stick; termites leave door to eat stick-
Jatana: You finally come up with a good idea.
Door: I’M FREE! I’M FREE!
Hannah: NO! My poking stick! Argh!
Door: -opens-
Jatana: Come on, let’s go!
Hannah: -cries over stick-
Jatana: Look, Hannah, there’s a stick in there!
Hannah: OOH! -runs into closet-
Boogeyman: GRR!
Hannah: Whoa!
Boogeyman: ROAR!
Jatana: Somebody needs a breath mint.
Hannah: Grandpa! -hugs Boogeyman-
Boogeyman: Err. . .
Jatana: What are you doing?! You idiot!
Hannah: Eeww!! Grandpa, you got worms!
Boogeyman: -explodes from too much love-
Jatana: You did it! Now we can steal his goodies.
Hannah: Why Grandpa?! -sobs-
Stick: Hannah! I’m alive!
Hannah: Grandma?! -hugs stick-
Stick: ARGH! Too tight! -snaps-
Jatana: Anyways. . .-runs to the goodie bag-
Hannah: He was Santa too?! That explains a few things. . .
Cotton Candy Man “Sweet”: STOP! You will not steal my brothers!
Jatana and Hannah: . . .
Cotton Candy Man “Sweet”: Just because we’re in the goodie bag, doesn’t mean you can steal us!
Hannah: Can I poke you?
Cotton Candy Man “Sweet”: Uhh. . .yeah sure I guess. . .
Hannah: -pokes Cotton Candy Man “Sweet” with a random stick; stick gets stuck and creates Cotton Candy On A Stick-
Cotton Candy On A Stick: What have you done?!
Hannah: Umm. . .I made you. . .king! Yeah! King of all the little cotton candy. . .peoples?
Jatana: Fine. No more goodies. I’m leaving. -calls upon stalker to disappear-
Hannah: No way! YOU control the stalkers?!
Jatana: Maybe.
Hannah: Then I have no choice but to. . . -drinks pepsi-
DUHNDUHNANANAAAAAAaaaAAaAAAaAAA!!!!!!!!! HYPERIA!
Jatana: Ok. . .-throws candy-
Hannah: CANDY! -eats it and passes out-
Becky: Oh my God, Jenny, no way!
Jenny: I know! -laughs-
Becky: -laughs-
Jenny: -spits gum into Becky’s hair-
Becky: Oh my God, Jenny! You broke my hair!
Jenny: I am so sorry!
Walking Scissors: I can help with that.
Becky: Oh really?! Wow, thanks!
Walking Scissors: -trips and cuts off her head-
Jenny: -screams-
Walking Scissors: Oops. . .NO WITNESSES! -cuts off her head as well-
-random rock hits and kills the scissors-
at the highschool. . .
Principal: Attention students, be on the lookout for four chickens.
Students: -running in hallway after chickens-
-three chickens labeled #1, #2, and #4 are running around in
circles-
two hours later. . .
-all chickens are caught-
Principal: Attention students, whoever catches chicken #3 gets to
leave school for the rest of the year.
Drew: I have an idea! -dresses up in chicken costume labeled #3
Principal: Uhh. . .
Drew: Can I leave now?
Principal: Yes. . .-calls mental hospital-
People In White Coats: Come on chicken man, let’s go.
Drew: NO!
-they take him into closet where we then hear a loud BANG!-
Billy: -comes back from the chair of wonder holding a purple book-
Billy: Gather 'round kiddies! It’s . . . -happy-time music starts playing- STORY TIME!!!!
George: . . .
Billy: -looks at the cover-
George: Dear God . . .
Billy: -ahem-
Billy: Today we're gonna read "My Little Unicorn."
Random Kid: -Cheers-
Billy: Last night, a unicorn came to my window. I climbed onto his back, and we flew away. Over my house, up through the clouds, and into the stars. In the morning, I was back in bed. The unicorn was gone. Maybe it had all been a dream. But there on my pillow was a tiny golden unicorn!
Random kids: -start crying-
Billy: No! It’s ok!
Random Kid- Dinosaur!
Billy: No!
Billy: Unicorn!
Billy: Not dinosaur!
Random kid: -starts crying-
George: -Fawps the kids-
George: -holds up scary pictures-
Billy: DAMMIT ALL TO BLOODY HELL!!! -throws book on the floor-
Billy: Don't you kids know any good stories?!?!
Billy: -trips over book and head falls off-
-kids start laughing-
George: -slides into story time chair- Ok kids I tell the story now . . .
George: -takes out bright pink book-
George: There once was a school who got a new student. Her name was Cindy McNoodlebutt. She joins the cheerleading team and in a few weeks became a prep. Years pass of her prep-ness until one day she uses all the make-up in the world trying to make herself pretty.
Random Kid: -shouts- Mommy make-up!
George: The humans soon died from the toxin make-up and that is how preps will kill us all. . .
George: -he closed the book and threw it at one of the random kids- Now never become a prep or I will hunt you down and kill you. -smiles and sits down on the floor-
Random Kid: -dies of bleeding-
George: -cheers-
-fox walks in-
Fox : bark bark bar-bark bark bark-bark-bark-bark bark bark!
Audience: Wtf. . .
George: -pets fox-
Fox: -gets pissed off and sets the house on fire-
George: -runs away-
-the rain goddess appears, kills the fox, and saves the little peoples-
Audience: . . .
Audience: -stares-
Random people from the audience: -ponders if they are on something and doesn't know it.-
-a finger of God appears from the sky- Hey kids it's not nice to smoke! -disappears-
Jeff: -looks around-
Jeff: -whispers to self- They're gone
Jeff: -looks around again-
Jeff: Heh heh heh. . .
Jeff: -sneaks over to the chair of wonders-
Jeff: Now I'll be master of the munchkins!
-the chair eats him-
-a pair of walking scissors walks in-
Audience: . . .
-starts cutting the fingers off the little random kids that survived-
George: -watches with popcorn-
George: -throws rock at the scissors- Rock beat scissors! Ha!
-scissors die-
Random Kids: Boo!
George: -throws scissors at kids- Shut up!
George: Least I can still eat finger food!
Hannah: - starts laughing-
Hannah: Yeah suckers!
George: . . .
Hannah: -picks up a bowl of pudding and throws it at the little
random Mine! kid- That'll teach YOU what's mine!
Hannah: -throws book bag at another random kid-
Hannah : Mwahahaha!
-kid blows up-
George: . . .?!
Hannah: -gets bored and starts eating grass-
George: -stares-
-bird flies by and poops in George's eye-
George: -dies-
Announcer: [Please insert welcome here]
Announcer 2: [Please insert zeeky boogie doog here]
Announcer: -does so-
-BOOM!-
Hannah : Haha!
Hannah : Suckers!
Hannah : Fear the dreaded sharpie! -throws sharpie-
Hannah : And the dreaded battery! -throws battery-
Hannah : And. . .the Flarp -throws Flarp-
Hannah : And. . .and. . .my cup -throws cup, glass shattering sound
lasts for about 5 seconds-
Hannah : -stands up laughing- Oh-h-h-h-ho shit! Hahahahahaa!
Hannah : It wasn-
-the camera shuts off-
A story teller: Let me introduce you to . . . Hyperia!
Story Teller: -looks around with the shit-eatin grin-
-Hyperia theme song begins-
Random Kids: Yay!
-Hyperia flies from the sky and lands in front of the random kids-
Random Kid I don't like you: -stands up-
Random Kid I don't like you: I don't like you!
Hyperia: Well that's ok little kid, because the stalkers are coming from under the chair!
Random Kid but why?!?!: BUT WHY?!?!
Hyperia: Well, because we don't like you anymore!
Random Kid yeah!!!!: Yeah!!!!
-stalkers start coming out of the Chair of Wonders-
Hyperia: Uh oh, super hero’s gotta leave random kids behind sometimes!
-random kids start getting eaten by the stalkers-
later that day . . .
A news reporter: This just in! A group of random kids was devoured by 10 stalkers. They seem to have crawled out from under the Chair of Wonders. -turns head to the right, sees a man sitting there- What do you have to say, Bob?
Bob: I was a witness to the whole thing
A news reporter: Really?! Can you tell us what happened?!?!
Bob: Sure . . . I was eating my pizza and. . . .
(five hours later)
-News reporter, camera man, and Bob are all lying on the ground dead-
Random kid HAHA!!!: -walks up and points at them- HAHA!!!
-a small shrimpish girl looks up at the sky at a dark cloud-
-it grows bigger and moved really fast-
Girl: what the f***. . .
Dil: -watches the girl, eating popcorn at the same time, looking at the cloud-
she soon realizes it was a swarm of evil flying monkeys from space and screams
(5 min. later . . .)
Dil: -makes random kids leave-
-a bloody corpse is found on ground by a dog-
-dog picks up her dislocated arm and walks away with it in its mouth-
-monkeys then come to a city-
Dil: -drops popcorn from mouth-
Monkeys: -in monkey language FOOOOOOODDDDD, AND FUN! FOOD AND FUN!!!! -monkeys are chanting it over and over
Random Kid: -starts dancing-
Dil: -throws a rock at them-
Random Kid: -dies-
-monkeys kill all the people and eat them, then go to a move
theater and watch Spongebob-Bob-
Random Kids: -start laughing, some of them blow up-
then . . .
THEN . . . - suspenseful music plays-
Ziggyboogiduke!!!
-BOOM!-
Random kid everyone hates yet never dies: It's pronounced 'zeeky boogie doog'
-BOOM!-
Random kid everyone hates yet never dies: -blows up then regenerates-
Hannah: Gosh! You will never die! Ever!
Random kid everybody hates yet never dies: Not entirely true. I'm afraid of the letter 'x'
Hannah: -smiles the evil grin-
moments later . . .
Hannah: -walks out of the room, smacking her hands together-
Random kids: What did you do?!?!
Hannah: You'll see -walks away-
Random Kids: -look through the door and the random kid that everybody hates yet never dies is tied on a big x cross with a little x-shaped pool beneath him with sharks (cardboard x's) floating around-
Random kid that everyone hates yet never dies: -muffled- Help me!
Random Kids: -shake their heads, smile, turn around, slams the door, causing the random kid that everybody hates yet never dies to fall into the x-shaped pool and die of fright-
Random stick figure dude: -shrugs and walks out toward a hill-
Random stick figure dude: -falls- AAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!
-techno music plays-
Random stick figure dude: AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!
Random stick figure dude: AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!
Random stick figure dude: AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!
Random stick figure dude: -stops falling and starts sliding, jumping over rocks-
Random stick figure dude: -starts falling again-
Random stick figure dude: AAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!
Random stick figure dude: AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!
-lands on the random H Bomb-
-BOOM!-
-cheerleaders pop out of the bomb and start a gay little cheer-
Krista: -comes out and drops mouth- I'm gonna need a bigger 'un. . .
Krista: -runs home and comes back with a huge shotgun about 30 feet long-
Krista: Mwahahaha!
Krista: -starts shooting all the cheerleaders, causing them to explode into little pink puff clouds-
Krista: -shoots the last one-
Krista: Mwahahaha! Cheerleaders are now extinct!
Random Dragon: MAWHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!
Random Dragon: -flies down, grabs Krista's gun, flies away-
Krista: NNNNNOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!
Random Dragon: -looks into the gun- What's this do? -bang-
Dragon: Ow. . .
-evil mutated mountain dew can is walking down the city street-
Random kid always being clumsy: -steps on it and it dies-
Random kid eewww!!!: -walks over to the squished soda can and points at it to old people walking by- EEWWW!!!
(later in Hannah's neighborhood, three retarded little midget kids are riding in their battery powered cars, pulling each other behind them)
Hayden: This is fun!
Kevin: Yeah!
Michael: Let's go make some money!
Hayden and Kevin: How?
Michael: Like this.
Joe: Sure, $5 an hour
Kids: OKAY!
-kids ride to Hayden's house and come back with three rakes tied to
each car-
Hayden: I never thought that raking leaves could be so easy!
-they soon finish but because they finished in less than 50 minutes, they got no money-
Kevin: Well THAT was a rip-off.
Hayden: Yep.
-they all sit there at the edge of the rip-off-artist's driveway-
Hayden: Now what?
Michael: Now we play, WRECK THE CARS!
Kevin and Hayden: YEAH!
- two minutes later-
Joe: What is wrong with you?!?! You tryin to die young?!?!
-Hayden had the car run straight into the curb and flipped over
Michael's car and landed on Kevin's car. It surprised Michael and caused him to run into Joe's mailbox-
Random kid: Santa!
-later that day. . .-
Michael: Hey, look! Brian’s here!
Hayden: -looks around- Where?
Kevin: There!
-Brian walks up to them-
Brian: Hey guys!
Michael: Come on! We built a new skate ramp!
-In Michael’s backyard-
Michael: Hey, Brian, watch this! -pushes Hayden down the skate ramp and Hayden falls flat on his face-
Hayden: Ow! God that was. . .painful!
Brian: Haha! My turn! -pushes Kevin and he falls next to Hayden-
Kevin: Ow!
-Michael sits on a skateboard and rolls down the ramp and runs over Hayden and Kevin-
Hayden and Kevin: Ow!
-Kevin explodes and pizza rains from the sky-
-they run away-
Brain: -pulls out a paint ball gun- Hey, Michael! Go out by Kevin’s house!
Michael: Ok! -runs out to Kevin’s house and waits-
Brian: -shoots gun and it misses him shoots gun again and it hits him in the back-
Michael: -blows up and a big blue puff of smoke appears-
Brian: Oh shoot! -runs away-
Hayden: -throws a pinecone at Brian’s head and his head explodes-
Hayden: Haha! -runs away-
Random kid: -trips Hayden and his head falls off
Random kid Haha: Haha!
*BOOM*
********NOTE********
All the following stunts are for amateurs only. Every stunt about to be witnessed is by random events in which we had nothing to do with them. Please, all those that are random kids and smart people, leave the auditorium.
A pencil sharpener walks in and stands over the dead pair of random scissors. The scissors come to life and try to kill the random pencil sharpener by cutting it in half but the sharpener revealed it’s secret pencil in it and jams it in the scissor’s handle. The scissors die and then. . .then. . .THEN. . .
-phone starts ringing-
Random kid hi: -picks it up- Hi!
Phone: Zeeky boogy doog!
Random kid hi: Hi! Hi! H. . .
-BOOM-
-Stormie and Hannah walk down the street -
Stormie: -walks up to Hannah and waves- Hiiiiiiiiiiiii!
Hannah: Byeeeeeeeee!
Stormie- Pulls out a paint ball gun-
Hannah: Uh oh. -starts running-
Stormie: -shoots Hannah in the back-
Hannah: -trips over the squished mutated mountain dew can- Oh my go. . .
Stormie: -looks up-
-evil flying monkeys come again and pick up random kids-
-Hannah and Stormie take cover while random kid arms and limbs fly in the sky-
-BOOM-
Reporter: So. . .how's life?
Weather forecaster: 60% chance of rain tomorrow down in the WTF area. Possible thunderstorms in the eastern Damnit I'm Tired regions.
Tv: Do you know. . .the
Tv: -static-
May: Ah, Samara!
Tv: Ha. . .an. . .ou. . .?
May: -hides video-
Tv: May! Can you here me now?
May: No!
Tv: I know what you di. . .sum. . .-tv shuts off-
May: -checks calender-
May: Hey, its only been six days. . .
May: RIP OFF
Jingle: -comes to the window- Hey yo, you know Rudolph?
May: -stares blankly- Yeah, turn left at the next corner and go down 2 blocks. He's in the house with a bunch of reindeer decorations.
Jingle: Damnit, he's my f***** cousin, hey yo, I have a f******* red nose too why'd Santa f****** pick him huh huh?! it's cause I'm a black reindeer isn't it?!
May: Probably.
May: I would too.
Jingle: I am so mad!! -poof-
May: . . .
May: That doesn't fix my TV, though.
-tv blinks on-
-a big black shadow comes out with heavy breathing- Luke. . .I am your father. . .
-applause-
May: -kiddy Scream- Daddy, I knew you'd come back for me. And I knew my name wasn't May. It's good ol' Luke. Now, to the dark side!
Darth Vader: Son!
May: Oh, Dad. . .Wait. . .You missed, like, 14 Christmases! Pay up!
Darth Vader: Bad Luke! Bad! -pulls out spray bottle- Don't point at the dark cape dad
May: -backs away- Child Abuse!
-Samara pulls at cape and Darth flies into the tv screen-
May: -stares- I want my money!
-tv screen spits out a bag-
May: -pokes bag with Spork of Doom-
-bag explodes and rains nails and screws of terror-
May: . . .
May: -dies-
Random Voice: Welcome to the Magical Corn Field of Bobbobobobobobob
Hannah: uhh. . .
Hannah: Yay?
-Corn hits Hannah-
Hannah: What the eff man? All I was looking for was the bathroom. . .and you come up and hit a blonde in the head that's racist there. . . I resent that
Hannah: Hey corn! -makes popcorn-
Hannah: Wait. . .you're distracting me!
-Corn dies while somehow screaming-
Hannah: Oh crap this is some Jerry Springer mess now. . .
Random Voice: It's magical!
Hannah: Wtf?!
Hannah: Are you my conscience?
Random Voice: Yup.
Hannah: . . .
Hannah: Am I gonna get a donut out of this or not? Cause I don't
have time for this. . .
Random Voice 2: Hannah, go towards the corn!
Hannah: !
Hannah: Is there a donut?
Random Voice 2: There is a load of donuts and Vash toys there. I swear!
Random Voice: Holy Shit! Who are you?!
Hannah: Hot dang! -runs as fast as possible to corn field-
Hannah: -suddenly at graveyard-
Hannah: -with corn-
Hannah: Umh. . .
Hannah: What does this mean?
-random hand pops out of ground-
Random Voice 2: Nothing. . .
Hannah: EEP!
Hannah: Hoho cool. -pokes hand with a stick-
Hannah: Haha it's squishy!
-2nd hand pops up-
Hannah: Uhh. . .
Hannah: Hey look another hand. . .
Hannah: Are we gonna play patty cake?
Hannah: Or should I just go get another stick?
-head pops up-
May: Hannah, I'm not fully dead!
Hannah: But. . .why?
Hannah: Hey! Do you have my donuts?
May: No, but I have a worm.
Hannah: . . .
Hannah: Where's my Vash?!?!
Hannah: You lied! I know where you live conscience!
May: I think he thought I was dead or something, but what would have given him that idea? I dunno. Where the hell is my corn?
Hannah: Who is he?
May: Umm. . . Corn McBobbletaco
Hannah: Hahaha I bet his mom named him that just to see if she could get away with it.
May: Or she liked corn.
Random Voice 2: Yeah, corn.
Hannah: Ok. . .
Hannah: Hey buddy you lied to me.
Random Voice: What the hell are you still doing here?
-Corn mascot attacks the Random Voices-
May: -Holds up #1 finger- Go Corn!
Hannah: Where the hell did you come from?!
Corn Mascot: Well, I'm Corn McBobbletaco's 2nd cousin twice removes divided by 42.
Hannah: Wait, what? Divide the 6 carry the 4. . .so you've been. . .-sigh- pass. . .
Corn Mascot: That's right! I'm your sister!
Hannah: I don't like you ,you smile too much!! Run away! -runs and trips on ant- Damnit ant, I told you, not now!
May: -stares; still stuck in ground-
Hannah: Oh crap, my bad.
Hannah: Uhm. . .heh heh. . .
Hannah: How do I do this exactly?
May: -wiggles some- This is worse than being forced to watch CSI: Miami for 5 minutes! May: And it's their second season!
Hannah: Wow, that's bad.
May: -pulls Magical Eject Lever of Corn- -flies away-
Hannah: Hey. . .you left me!
May: I'm flying!
Hannah: -looks at corn mascot- You're gay! -kicks shin and runs away-
May: -slams into Walmart- -slowly slides off-
Walmart man bob: -comes out with broom- Oh boy another one bites the dust. . .
Hannah: May! WHILE YOU'RE THERE, GET ME SOME MORE STICKS TO POKE THINGS WITH!
May: Ok! -walks in-
May: Sticks, sticks, sticky, stick, sticks....
May: Wtf! $4.99!
Hannah: -waiting-
May: Screw you, Walmart! I'm going to Target!
May: -runs to dollar tree instead-
May: I'd like some sticks please. . .$5? Ok, that's a bargain.
Hannah: -looks around- -sigh- May had better have Walmart brand sticks they last longer. . .
May: -runs back to Walmart and gets smiley stickers from the old welcome guy; puts them on the sticks and takes them to Hannah-
Hannah: Bout time you got here.
Hannah: Hey. . .you're hiding something. . .
May: -pulls out corn-
May: Ok. . .
Hannah: Oooh I know what you did.
Hannah: You got a haircut you sly dog.
Hannah: Snazzy.
May: Damn, you caught me.
Hannah: Haha you can't hide anything from me.
May: I know, but I try. . .a lot.
Hannah: Well let's go find a wasp nest and poke it.
Hannah: Bwahaha they'll never suspect a thing!
May: Okay!
-stick snaps-
May: -stares-
Hannah: May. . .let's go sue Walmart.
May: I blame the corn.
May: It cursed us.
May: Grr. . .
Hannah: Stupid corn! -spits on corn and a magical beanstalk pops out-
May: -stares-
Hannah: Is that legal?
May: A bean comes from corn?
May: Wow, and we didn't have to sell our cow!
Hannah: Whoo! Let's go climb it!
Hannah: -climbs-
May: -follows, eating beans-
Hannah: -three days later- May I see the top!
Hannah: Oh my gosh!
Hannah: Go down go down!!!
Hannah: There's an angry oompa loompa at the top with corn!
May: Corn?!
May: I LOVE YOU, CORN
Hannah: May. . .the corn just exploded
May: . . .
Business Man 1: -looks down- Lost another one to Geico.
Business Man 2: Damn Gecko.
Business Man 1: It's all from the robot!
Business Man 2: Grr. . .
Business Man 1: Ahhh soo. . .
Farmer: Robot? Where is my cow?
Vash: Looks like I caught you red handed.
Shadow: . . .
Vash: You thought that you could get away huh. . .well not when I’m
around.
Shadow: . . .
Vash: Well?! Are you just gonna stand there?!
Shadow: . . .
Vash: -growls-
Shadow: . . .
Vash: Alright that does it, you’ve asked for it. -reaches toward gun-
Shadow: . . .
Vash: I warned you. . .now taste a bit of this. . .heh heh heh. . .
Shadow: . . .
Vash: -crosses fingers- LOVE AND PEACE!
People: -stares-
Shadow: -walks out and reveals Kuroneko-
Vash: Uhh. . .
Kuroneko: NYYAAA!!!! -scratches Vash’s hand-
Vash: AHH!! -runs away-
Kuroneko: Nyaa. . .
Kilala: -walks up- Rya?
Kuroneko: Nyaa. . .nyaa nya-ny-nyaa.
Kilala: Rya! Ry-rya. . .-winks-
Kuroneko: -blushes- Nyaa, nya-ny-nya. . .
People: Uhh. . .
Random Kid: WE NEED A TRANSLATOR!
-Random Pokéball-
Meowth: MEEEOOOWWTH THAT’S RIG. . hey. . .THIS ISN’T TEAM ROCKET!
People: Translate. . .NOW!
Meowth: Fine.
Kilala: Rya-ry-ry-rya-rya rya rya RYA rya rya. . .
Meowth: She said “You shouldn’t hurt people like that.”
Kuroneko: Nyaa. . .nyanya nya.
Meowth: She said “I know but he was taunting me.”
Kilala: Rya. . .rya rya ry-rya-rya. Ryaryaryaryaryarya!
Meowth: Basically she said “Don’t worry, we all do it, hahahahahahaha!”
Kuroneko: Nyanyanyanyanyanyanya!
Meowth: My work here is done! -returns to pokéball-
Mrs. Rubino: RRRROOOOOOOOAAAAAAAARRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!
Hannah: EEP! -runs and hides behind pencil-
Hannah: STAND BACK VILE TEACHER! FOR I HAVE. . .uhh. . .A CUP!
Hannah: UH! -throws cup- -SHATTER- OHH SHIT
Mrs. Rubino: ERRGGG. . .YOU MADE ME ANGRY YARGH!!!!! -rips clothes- HULK-BINO!
Class: OMG RUN AWAY!
Travis: -trips- OH GOD NO!! AHH!!! -gets eaten-
Random Classmate: NO NOT THE PUMPKIN!!!
Krista: -points and laughs-
Christin: -having a pregnant dog fit-
Hannah: COME ON CHRISTIN!
Christin: NO I'm not going anywhere until SHE gives me back my eyeliner.
Hannah: Ok then. . .
Christin: pregnant dog give me back my damn eyeliner!
Hulk-Bino: Uhhh. . .-throws chair-
Christin: AHH!!! -splat-
Krista: -runs in circles-
Hannah: . . .
Hannah: OOH OOH I KNOW I KNOW
Krista: ?
Hannah: -drinks Pepsi-
DUHNDUHNANANAAAAAAaaaAAaAAAaAAA!!!!!!!!!
Hannah/Hyperia: HYPERIA!
Krista: Uh oh.
Hannah/Hyperia: -starts talking 90 miles an hour about playing tag-
Hulk-Bino: ME NO UNDERSTAND AHHH!!! -head esplodes-
-candy rains from the sky-
Announcer: And thus Hulk-Bubino was in fact a giant rampaging pinata full of candy that ended world hunger but started a new age. . .of -BUMBUMBUM- cavities!!!! -screams-
Hyper Hannah: OOH CANDY!! YUUUMMM- -falls on ground-
Hannah: -wakes up- Oh God. . .is that. . .is that a closet?
Closet: -eerie music-
Hannah: Umm. . .
Random Kid: -starts dancing to music-
Hannah: You retard! -throws a twig-
Random Kid: -explodes into a pile of shoes-
Hannah: Oops. . .hey! -looks at shoes- Rip-off! They’re all left feet! Stupid lefty!
Jatana: You idiot! What about the closet?
Hannah: Oh yeah. . .Hold on, I’ll find a stick and we can poke it.
Jatana: NO. . .OPEN the closet.
Hannah: Are there any donuts?
Jatana: Yes.
Hannah: WHOO! -runs into door- OPEN, DAMN YOU!
Door: You have to have a key.
Hannah: OH MY GOD! IT TALK! Oh. . .WONDERLAND?!
Door: No. . .I am the evil door of the Boogeyman!
Hannah: The. . .Booger Man? What. . .
Jatana: No, Hannah. BOOGEYMAN. That retarded thing from the movie.
Hannah: I remember! -thinks of hippo lady-
Jatana: Any ways. . .where do we find the key?
Door: On the other side of me.
Jatana: So. . .how does that work?
Door: Hell if I knew, I get paid to sit here.
Hannah: Whoa! You’re being paid?!
Door: Yes,
Hannah: We’ll pay you double to open up.
Door: Uhh. . .I don’t think do. -shudder-
Hannah: Why? What are they paying you?
Door: Termites. . .
Hannah: Ooh. . .
Jatana: Now what?
Hannah: -thinks-
Jatana: -thinks-
Door: -sits-
Hannah: -pokes the door with a stick; termites leave door to eat stick-
Jatana: You finally come up with a good idea.
Door: I’M FREE! I’M FREE!
Hannah: NO! My poking stick! Argh!
Door: -opens-
Jatana: Come on, let’s go!
Hannah: -cries over stick-
Jatana: Look, Hannah, there’s a stick in there!
Hannah: OOH! -runs into closet-
Boogeyman: GRR!
Hannah: Whoa!
Boogeyman: ROAR!
Jatana: Somebody needs a breath mint.
Hannah: Grandpa! -hugs Boogeyman-
Boogeyman: Err. . .
Jatana: What are you doing?! You idiot!
Hannah: Eeww!! Grandpa, you got worms!
Boogeyman: -explodes from too much love-
Jatana: You did it! Now we can steal his goodies.
Hannah: Why Grandpa?! -sobs-
Stick: Hannah! I’m alive!
Hannah: Grandma?! -hugs stick-
Stick: ARGH! Too tight! -snaps-
Jatana: Anyways. . .-runs to the goodie bag-
Hannah: He was Santa too?! That explains a few things. . .
Cotton Candy Man “Sweet”: STOP! You will not steal my brothers!
Jatana and Hannah: . . .
Cotton Candy Man “Sweet”: Just because we’re in the goodie bag, doesn’t mean you can steal us!
Hannah: Can I poke you?
Cotton Candy Man “Sweet”: Uhh. . .yeah sure I guess. . .
Hannah: -pokes Cotton Candy Man “Sweet” with a random stick; stick gets stuck and creates Cotton Candy On A Stick-
Cotton Candy On A Stick: What have you done?!
Hannah: Umm. . .I made you. . .king! Yeah! King of all the little cotton candy. . .peoples?
Jatana: Fine. No more goodies. I’m leaving. -calls upon stalker to disappear-
Hannah: No way! YOU control the stalkers?!
Jatana: Maybe.
Hannah: Then I have no choice but to. . . -drinks pepsi-
DUHNDUHNANANAAAAAAaaaAAaAAAaAAA!!!!!!!!! HYPERIA!
Jatana: Ok. . .-throws candy-
Hannah: CANDY! -eats it and passes out-
Becky: Oh my God, Jenny, no way!
Jenny: I know! -laughs-
Becky: -laughs-
Jenny: -spits gum into Becky’s hair-
Becky: Oh my God, Jenny! You broke my hair!
Jenny: I am so sorry!
Walking Scissors: I can help with that.
Becky: Oh really?! Wow, thanks!
Walking Scissors: -trips and cuts off her head-
Jenny: -screams-
Walking Scissors: Oops. . .NO WITNESSES! -cuts off her head as well-
-random rock hits and kills the scissors-
at the highschool. . .
Principal: Attention students, be on the lookout for four chickens.
Students: -running in hallway after chickens-
-three chickens labeled #1, #2, and #4 are running around in
circles-
two hours later. . .
-all chickens are caught-
Principal: Attention students, whoever catches chicken #3 gets to
leave school for the rest of the year.
Drew: I have an idea! -dresses up in chicken costume labeled #3
Principal: Uhh. . .
Drew: Can I leave now?
Principal: Yes. . .-calls mental hospital-
People In White Coats: Come on chicken man, let’s go.
Drew: NO!
-they take him into closet where we then hear a loud BANG!-